Let me start with this: I am a digital nomad. My life has pointed me towards being able to move about freely from place to place. Which, inevitably, led to a desire for #Vanlife.
It all unraveled when my emotions overtook my decision-making process. I drove 2 and a half hours to buy a piece-of-sh*t truck that is STILL hurting my wallet today.
Let me explain what is likely the dumbest trade I made with crypto, out doing the time I fed myself Starbucks sandwiches with Litecoin in 2014... we'll keep that for another contest. I digress.
So, how did a loan for 2.34k USD turn into a debt valued at 4.125k USD? Remember that emotion thing? THAT.
Let's rewind.
The Over the Counter Trade (OTC)
In March of 2021, I borrowed 2.34k USD in Bitcoin (+/- 0.06 BTC). I was going to buy a truck valued at 3.9k USD. BTC was sitting near 50.1k USD. This loan is very precise; he doesn't want inflationary fiat back, and why would he.
The deal is clear, bitcoin out, bitcoin back in. I had essentially placed a short on BTC at 50.1k USD. It doesn't take a genius to understand exponential function - but my heart had its sight set on a van and nobody was going to change my mind. I AM BUYING A VAN.
The Lemon
After paying 500CAD to rent a car, I drove myself to Montreal, 2.5 hours away. As I pulled up to the dealership, I already had a bad feeling. Most of these cars were beaten up. BUT I AM BUYING THIS VAN, TRY TO STOP ME!
In fact, someone did try to stop me. Call it almost prophetic. That friend who lent me the BTC? He also happens to be a mechanic. All he needed were some pictures I sent his way while inspecting the truck for him to tell me to come back home and keep shopping around.
On the phone, his tone was a clear indicator of his opinion.
Can I get ANY DUMBER? Here I have a guy whose trade is in mechanics, he's telling me that the truck is a lemon - BUT I AM BUYING THIS VAN!
The Good Guy
First I meet "the good guy" - he's the jolly fella selling these pieces of shit to susceptible, emotional clients (ie ME). He looks sweet. His white hair and jolly grin are reassuring; he looks like he would not hurt a fly.
Let's paint an image, shall we?
The van has paint roller strokes on the body. The inside still wreaks of fresh paint.
Under the truck, on a span of about 1 meter, epoxy foam was used to cover/hide I don't know what on the passenger side.
The wiring is hanging out from under the steering from what seemed to be an anti-theft system that was removed haphazardly. BUT I'M BUYING THIS VAN!
Wood screws are holding the dash together.
Meanwhile at home, BTC is already on the rise. Can you smell the short squeeze coming?
The test drive is actually smooth, nothing seems alarming - that is, if you discard the lack of oil pressure, but I am no mechanic. But my friend was. BUT I'M BUYING THE VAN!
Time to meet dude number TWO.
The Asshole
This guy is a piece of work. No good vibes here. He's the closer. He's proudly wearing his biker gang colors, his hands covered in gold rings, he's missing some teeth and doesn't care much for hygiene.
The type of guy I shouldn't trust as far as I can throw him -- BUT I AM BUYING THIS VAN, SO :P
Beyond any reasoning and logic, I put a down payment on the van and planned on returning the next week to complete my purchase.
I recount this to my friend/lender upon my return, and the prophet shakes his head in resignation. As he so philosophically said: the measure of a man is what he does with his Bitcoin.
Against every gut feeling that came my way, every warning my prophetic friend gave me, a week goes by, I rent ANOTHER CAR and I BUY MY VAN!!! <- Dumb. Ass.
The Short Squeeze
We're two weeks in. I still have yet to cover my short when what clearly was going to happen, happens. My truck breaks down.
I plan on vlogging the whole story on my YouTube channel: My Fucking Vanlife I have a bone to pick with these guys, but again, I'll save that for another time.
You can read my Google review here.
I digress.
I put in about 1k USD in repairs.
At this point:
I have an outstanding short at 50.1k USD on BTC and need to cover +/- 6 million Sats.
The price keeps going up, as it should with the exponential function.
At around 62k, I start freaking out and covering my short but am far from clearing it off.
On the 10th of November 2021, BTC hits a whopping 69.25k USD on #Bybit. On that day, I sat solemnly by myself, staring at a broken van, and cried in acceptance of what must have been the absolute dumbest trade in history - it's up there with my LTC for Starbucks sandwiches in 2014.
As I write this today, the tide has slightly turned and I am below breakeven, but for how long? How much longer can I hold this short before everything comes crashing down? Are we in the regular "down" before January "highs"? Will BTC hit 120k by January like so many think?
All I know is, I'm stacking Sats and if this story speaks to a decision you once made that today may be the dumbest shit you ever did, throw some bling my way so I can cover my short, before a busted, 2007 Chevy Express cargo van costs me more than a brand new Sprinter would - because El Salvador bought the dip. @nayibbukele, help a chick out, man!)
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(F.Y.I., I ended up selling the P.O.S. for 1k CAD, and the thing broke down on the buyer on his ride back to Montreal, the place where the hunk of junk came from. Go figure.)
"The beginning is the most important part of the proof-of-work." - Me
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