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Dumbledore, Tabarnac: Public Funds to Hire a Wizard in Quebec

Updated: May 27

I'm not sure whether to laugh of cry about this. The thespian is screaming to join the party as an elven archer, and then rational thought takes over and I'm left perplexed.

It turns out that a group of officials in Quebec have decided that the best way to spend public funds is by hiring a freaking wizard. Yes, you read that right, a WIZARD.

The thespian in me LOVES THIS. Seriously; dress me up like an elven archer, I'm in.

Do I think public funds should be used this way considering the current state of affairs in Quebec? Big Fat No. Not right now.

This shit is like me buying a Louis Vuitton bag when all I have are hot dogs to eat. I won't go off about our public spending, you can read more about that here.

In the MRC Vallée-du-Richelieu using taxpayer money to fund wizards and witches is legit. Do we live in the same place?

Let's just throw caution to the wind and resort to the occult instead, shall we? It wouldn't be the first time.

Dumbledore, tabarnac

And, of course, they're not looking for just any run-of-the-mill wizard, they need someone with "exceptional qualities" to create a magical egregore and get rid of pesky trolls, vampires, and poltergeists.

There's all-important care of "interdimensional portals" and gathering statistical data on energy fields. Because, clearly, that's what taxpayers want their money spent on.

Of course, they have some strict prerequisites for this highly coveted position, such as clairvoyance, verbal, non-verbal, and metaphysical communication skills, and an "advanced degree in witchcraft or equivalent experience." And, if you happen to speak animal languages, that's just a bonus. I file that under cool-as-fuck--

--Except that it's being paid for with public funds.

Driving requirements

You'll need a class 7 driver's license to operate a flying broomstick. Because that's a totally legitimate mode of transportation.

Oh, and if you're curious about the compensation for this dream job, tough luck. The posting conveniently leaves out any mention of salary, but I'm sure they'll be happy to pay you with even more of that hard-earned taxpayer money. After all, why not spend public funds on a wizard when there are so many other pressing issues that need attention?

"Rate of occupancy of stretchers reaches 170% at emergency" - Hôpital du Haut-Richelieu
"Rate of occupancy of stretchers reaches 170% at emergency" - Hôpital du Haut-Richelieu. Source:

So, if you're up for a demanding schedule that may include work "outside of time entirely," and you don't mind your taxes being spent on a wizard, then this might just be the job for you! Go ahead and submit your application to, but just remember :

you're paying for it with your own money.
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